The reason why the bag is heavy
is that there are too many illusions in it.
DB - The Vagabond
I have often embarrassed myself to realize how many times and in how many ways I've managed to delude myself about things. It seems like an unavoidable trait of the human being to make up a fantasy, call it a reality, believe in it and then live his life accordingly. Our lives are filled with more myths than we can even imagine. Where do these illusions come from and how do they make homes for themselves in our thinking?
Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result has been defined as stupidity. So is habitual thinking if it keeps producing unwanted burdens. I watched a member of my family struggle for most of her life with illusions about herself, her future and her kids. Nothing went the way she wanted it to and yet she kept insisting to herself that it eventually would. It was very sad to see her try to hold onto things that represented a life she once had but would never have again. It is harder to let go of the intangibles: ideas, theories, beliefs, persuasions, memories, then to let go of things. The things that held those illusions for her were gradually discarded, but some of the illusions lingered on. And they prevented her from fearlessly embracing the realities of her life and finding happiness.
That's the severe problem with illusions; they simply disguise themselves as truth and hide reality in their smoke screen. They make us believe that things are the way we want them to be or will become that way. They cloud things up so that we can't tell the difference between the possible and the impossible. In other words, we can't tell the difference between what is an illusion and what isn't.
There is no other way I know of to dispel illusions without desperate acts, than to pick carefully through my thinking and examine everything, hold it up against the light of reason, compare it with my past, weigh it against my current circumstances and determine how much I cherish it. It is not easy. I know I will hold on to things longer than I should, but knowing that alone helps me face the time when they need to be discarded.
One of life's hardest tasks is to know which of your cherished dreams will never be fulfilled and to surrender them graciously. There is no doubt it can bring tears. But the tears will clean the slate so that better dreams can be written on it.
Do something remarkable today,
then appreciate yourself for doing it.