Monday, September 8, 2008
12:05:57 AM EDT
A person who can live in his own darkness
and patiently await the dawn with a sense of humor,
is not crazy.
What's crazy is to be afraid of the dark.
DB - The Vagabond
Good Monday to you, may there be sparkles in your day.
Even before I got to confront the trolls of emails and journals, I came upon a few in the real world.
Several years ago a friend of long standing turned malignant on me for no reason. The lies and nasty name calling spread to his family and mutual friends, one of whom even suggested to me that I should apologize. I couldn't understand what I should apologize for. For not being more gracious in putting up with the lies? But I was gracious about it. I tried to understand what the ill will was about and I did it with humor and a light heart, until the moment when I knew the friendship was over. Every attempt I made to understand what to do to save that friendship was met with an increase of the abuse.
But the most interesting part of it was that I was being accused of darkness. One email included the sentence "I'm not going down this dark road with you." When I wrote back honestly wanting to know what dark road was being referred to, there was no answer.
I knew this fellow for 20 years. We worked together on several occasions. He has a lot of darkness in him, I'd seen it. I think he is running from it and, as with most people, pointing at others as he goes.
I once worked with a radio producer who insisted that he had no sinister side while he was doing sinister things, like stealing other people's ideas.
Who doesn't have darkness in them? Who hasn't found themselves down in a pit or nailed to a cross now and then. It would be great if life was always sweet and joyful. But it's not. Where there's life there's trouble. It is necessary for us to take off the pretty pink tinted glasses, stop pretending that we are always walking in the bright sunshine and look at the dark things with courage and reason. Do you think there's a crocodile under the bed? Don't lie there shivering with fear. Look under the bed. Is there a monster in the closet? Turn on the light and open the closet door.
Some shadows are short term problems. Others take time But they can never be chased away by running or pretending they aren't there. Read today's entry from rdautumnsage's Journals.
And to blame someone of something you can't face in yourself is the same thing as pulling yourself up by putting someone else down.
We all have dark places along the journey. To do the best we can and patiently await the outcome is the manly and womanly thing to do. But to be afraid of the dark is childish.